The Epic Tales of Kah Ann and Vincent Kwong !!

Foreword

2005-08-26T17:31:00.000+08:00

I know that this is a little bit overdue, but now, I decide that the time is now that something like this be created as the blog is now complete. I shall give a small introduction to what is in this blog and basically sum it all up.

Behold! What you see are thirteen chapters, each giving a small insight of the life of possibly Cempaka's craziest obssesser (okay, possibly not.) and her (futile) attempts at winning the heart of her Knight in Shining Armor. In a manner unlike of the author, he has surprisingly retained a great amount of truth (5%) in describing the events that have taken place for the past few years.

The story begins from Kah Ann's first glimpse of her goal and quickly races through, from the (literal) collision of both of their lives, to her pointless call, and the hilarious encounters that take place, and of course the inevitable (and coughanticlimacticcough) end to the madness. In addition to that, the author offers six love songs to sing along to, which are often very sweatdrop-inducing.

And finally, the ending. Where Kah Ann finally takes revenge on the horrible storyteller, by digging up the facts on the author's own love life, much to his (and Kai Sheng's) disgust.

WHAT AM I DOING THIS FOR? I SHOULD BE STUDYING!

Anyway. This is a blog which many would take interest of one is looking for a story to listen (or hone your b---s---ting skills).

And thus, I end this pointless foreword.

Tan Hsi Yi.

a rather different story....

2005-08-23T12:08:00.000+08:00

once upon a time, there lived this beautiful girl named tai li-yian. she was everything a man needed to fulfill his life. she had the smarts, the looks, and the personality. she captivated the hearts of many.. and darren khu's was one of the many hearts that she had. Now, Darren Khu Kuang Yau. Your average guy, who likes to tease others. When he first met ly, he thought he met an angel. It was her eyes, her lips, her smile.but most importantly, it was her inside. her sweet personality. he instantly fell in love with her.

unfortunately, he was not in the same class as her. therefore, he only had lunch and breaktime to look at her properly. observe her every action. stare at her every umm.... hair. the dark locks that covered her ber-isi head.

but as with all love stories, he had competition! tai kai sheng. a fellow tai, fellow smartie, and a fellow classmate. darren does not know whether he can compete. however, his love for li-yian grows stronger whenever he sees ly with ks. so did his animosity towards ks.

and it was vice versa! it was just the api that membara within him. he wanted to eliminate competition. he was the happiest whenever ks had duty during lunch or break because ks couldnt interrupt ly and darren together. then, whenever ks saw darren.. he would exclaim - "that despicable face. may he die and rot till he becomes petroleum." *ks begins lecture on how petroleum is formed, and what would be the most painful death..*

despite the competition, darren still kept his good work up... he had now become close enough to sit with hsi yi and pik kaye and kah ann (moi!) during lunch without feeling awkward... and thus they had their *quality time* together on most days, especially when kai sheng had duty. of course, they enjoyed this time thoroughly, not noticing ks patrolling around ly ever so often anxiously staring!

however, ks did not give in so easily. he had an advantage
1. he knew ly longer
2. he was in the same class as ly(therefore had the opportunity to stare during class)
and 3. he felt that he was smarter than khu.

and of course, ks had the ultimate enjoyment, poking ly in *areas*
the answer solely depends on ly.
who will she choose to spend her holiday in kokomo with?

*aruba......* =D
*this post is specially dedicated to the "founder" of this site. hope you lk it.
*i shall now shamelessly insist all readers see corey sevier. he's hot.

(The aforementioned picture has been removed due to extreme gayness radiating forth from it. Please, Kah Ann, no. Instead, I shall give you all a better sight to look at.)

(Hope goodcharlotte.com doesn't come and jump on this blog when they see this. Of course, by then, the blame will be put on some other person....)

teehee.

Chapter 13: Kah Ann's Obsession.. not VK??

2005-08-19T20:23:00.000+08:00

The Obsessed Kah Ann is no more, the always gawking girl is gone. The guy.. ahem.. girl we know, is now gone. Instead, a new era has arrived. One where burgers and ranting has joined forces!! it is, the one and only, Fong Kah Ann obsessed with jughead version..

Who is Jughead??
Jughead Jones is actually a fictional character from the Archies series. The term jughead is actually the official acronym for Jonzy's Universal Gopher Hierarchy Excavation And Display, a form of search engine in the Gopher Protocol (All Archie's character including Archie himself is named after some internet crap). In the series, Jughead was actually given the name Forsythe Pendleton Jones, but rather to be called his nickname AKA Jughead. He will try to avoid girls if possible unless there are some food involved. He can be often see wearing a crown like hat with 2 pins attached on it.

Why Jughead of all People??
The reason is yet to be unknown but rumors has it that Kah Ann likes him because he has resemblance to Vincent. Another rumor has it that she gave Vincent the nickname Jughead and did not told anyone about it. These are just rumors, thus the degree of accuracy is yet to be known.

So what happened to Vincent??
Quite frankly, I don't really know. Kah Ann somehow managed to divert her own attention away from the holy MSN Messenger. I on the other hand had some how got addicted to Ragnarok Online. But apparently things are going rather fine and hopefully they will get together by this year.

I heard there is another guy after Kah Ann?? Who??
It is only rumors but there is possibly 2 guys who is after Kah Ann. Min De and Kai Shern (Not Kai Sheng). A sad thing to note here: Min De still thinks I like Vivien.. help??

How did you obtain these information??
I should have stated this in the earlier blogs, but many has been asking and thus:
1. Pik Kaye
2. Hsi Yi
3. Kah Ann herself (Both her blog and MSN)
4. Made up 5% of it
5. Fake accusations from Weng Sheng.

Chapter 12: Is it hot??

2005-08-02T16:27:00.000+08:00

It was during break.. Vincent was feeling hungry. While he was buying food.. Kah Ann came by and suddenly grabbed his banana.

Vincent: Oh?? It's you Kah Ann.. what do you want??

Kah Ann: Is it hot? (Sounding horny)

Vincent: Yeeeaaa...

Kah Ann: Can give me a bite.. :P

Vincent: Go ahead.. Lets sit down first.. More comfortable.

Kah Ann: Hurry up.. I want that banana in my mouth.

Then went on sitting down, and Kah Ann proceeds to bite his banana.

Kah Ann: Mmmmmmm.. (Moan of pleasure) Yummy.. I love it..

Vincent: You want one more bite?

Kah Ann: One more bite?

Vincent: If you don't to it's okay, but if you want go ahead. (Smile)

Kah Ann: Put it in my mouth Vincent.. (Opens her mouth)

Vincent: Okay.. Don't take in so much.. (He placed his banana in Kah Ann's mouth)

Kah Ann went on biting his banana.. Vincent then continue to finish up his pisang goreng and they continued on talking as perusual..

Chapter 11: Confession?? Yes or No??

2005-07-29T11:51:00.000+08:00

It was the day that she had wait a long time for. As she watches the clock ticking, she was excited that it was finally her birthday. Kah Ann was looking forward to break and lunch hours in school.

Note: Look at Kah Ann's first wish in her birthday wishlist below.

"I hope I get one!!" she thought. Instead, she was greeted by Min De the very first happy birthday wish wasnt to her pleasure. She mumble to herself "Min De is being nice to me. I wonder whether should I like him or not?" (Obviously this is a stupid question but play along). Finally the long awaited moment of truth. Break time.

She spy with her little eyes her hotness VK. Vk approaches her..

VK: hey
Kah Ann: hello
VK: Happy Birthday Kah Ann!
Kah Ann: *Blur* Thank You!! (Yess!!)
VK: Theres something I wanna tell you...
Kah Ann: Uhuh (OMG OMG!!! MY WISH IS COMING TRUE)
VK: I go toilet first
Kah Ann: Oh, okay.. T_T

5 minutes later

VK: Ah.
Kah Ann: So what were you gonna tell me??
VK: Ermm.. Ca..ca..ca.caann you..
Kah Ann: Yea??
VK: Yo..yo..you///
Kah Ann: Go on... (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!)
VK: Tell me what happen in HBP...
Kah Ann: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS... eh?? What??
VK: I don't have the money to buy the book so..
Kah Ann: Owh.. okay... (T_T T_T T_T)

And thus the day goes on.. and Kah Ann had made up her mind.. eventhough VK never confess, but she would choose him over Min De. And her adventure for hotness continues..

P.S Happy Birthday Kah Ann

Love Song 6: Xiao Wei !!

2005-07-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

A modified version of xiao wei :D .. The Below are the lyrics and translation for it

You yi diao
-Got one piece
Zhang zhang de da xiang jiao
-Long long big Banana
Da de ming zi
-It's known as
Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Jiao zhuo lan jiao
-My Dick
Wooooooo

Wo you kuai
- I got a piece
Wen rou de chi bai
-A pussy
Da hen xiang
-Its wants
Yao gen ni shuo ai
-Wanna make love with you

Lan jiao ah
- Owh Dick
Ni ge zhi dao wo duo ai ni
- You know how much I love you
Wo yao ba ni
- I wanna take you
Cha jin wo chi bai li
- Stick inside my pussy
Aiiiiiiiiii

Ni kan kan chi bai duo huo mei li
- You see the pussy, how pretty
Hai you mao mao dong dong song gei ni
- With pubic hair, all I give you.

Chapter 10: VK's new competitor (I hope I spelt it right)

2005-07-24T20:22:00.000+08:00

Leaping from the ashes, he is known as the almighty fat cadet.. Weighing 250 pounds, he is the form 3 playboy of the season, MIN DE!!

Min De has his eyes on Kah Ann, as a new target to be his girlfriend. After his failure with kamen (kar mun, kar men, carmen wtvlah) and vivien.. He has vowed to do anything for his new beloved..

"I Want HBP for my birthday" says Kah Ann to her fellow friends. Min De overheard the conversation and thus decided to get the book worth RM100 for her. Thus he started working for the money. Through the long overs of manual labour, he struts and frets in front of his parents to obtain cash enough to get his beloved the book.

Finally, after a long 5 minutes of begging, he obtain the money and soon got the book.

The next morning, he gave the book to Kah Ann. BUT to VK's HORROR, Kah Ann had accepted his book. Will this be the end of VK?? Will Kah Ann dump VK for the BIg Sexy love machine Min De??

Love Song 5: Internet is for porn

2005-07-22T22:16:00.000+08:00

Directly take from Avenue Q.. The girls voice is Kah Ann... The guys voice is Weng Sheng, and the normal people are me, Wen Jun and Nic Yei's....

Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson, all by my self!
I'm going to teach something relevant, something modern.
The Internet!

The internet is really really great
For porn
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait
For porn Huh?
There's always some new site,
For porn!
I browse all day and night
For porn!
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light
For porn!

The internet is for porn
The internet is for porn,
What are you doing!?
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

Treee—kkie!
Oh hello kate monster Y
ou are ruining my song
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
Me no talkie Good

I’m glad we have this new technology
For porn
Which gives us untold opportunity
For por—oops, sorry
Right from you own desktop
For ---
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop
FOR PORN!!

The internet is for porn!
Noooo
The internet if for porn!
Trekkie Me up all night honking me horn to
porn, porn, porn!

That’s gross you’re a pervert
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
NO really, your a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
Ohhhh? What?!
You have no idea
Ready normal people?
Ready--- ready ----ready
Let me hear it!

The internet is for porn!
Sorry kate
The internet is for porn!
I masturbate!
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!
The internet is not for porn!!
PORN!, PORN, P--- HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online
That’s correct.
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com
Sure!
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay
Yes I do!
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card
True!

Oh, but Kate- What you think he do . . .after? hmm? . .yeah
EEEWWWWW!

The internet is for porn!
Gross!
The internet is for porn!
I hate porn
Grab your dick and double click
For porn, porn, porn!
porn, porn, porn, porn
Porn, porn, porn, porn porn, porn, porn, porn
I hate the internet!
Porn, porn, porn, porn

The internet is for
The internet is for
The internet is for PORN! YEAH!

Chapter 9: Kah Ann's birthday wish list

2005-07-14T17:53:00.000+08:00

Kah Ann knew that her birthday is coming (29th of this month but noone cares). She made a list of top 10 things she want for her birthday.

10. Shivani to die.

9. A trip around Europe absolutely free.

8. To grow taller, skinnier and have a hotter body.

7. The Intelligence of KHU whom is smarter than her (man i'm perasan)

6. Harry Potter 6 (So does Hsi Yi)

5. 7 A's for PMR (I denu why PMR got in but this is what she told me)

4. Some cool limited edition unknown perfume.

3. No more jogging on the main road along with Mum and Dad.

2. Watching porn

1. A lovely WET SLOPPY 2 Minute 30 seconds long Kiss with VK.

May her wishes come true. :D

Chapter 8: The Experiment

2005-07-07T20:21:00.000+08:00

Problem statement: What would make VK ask Kah Ann to be his girlfriend
Aim: To get VK to ask Kah Ann to be his girlfriend

Variables:
Constant - The affection
Manipulated - The amount of time
Responding - Status of relationship

Hypothesis:
The more timeboth VK or Kah Ann have together, the faster they would become a couple.

Procedure:
1. Kah Ann is placed in a classroom.
2. VK is placed in a classroom.
3. Classroom is locked.
4. After 1 hour, the door is unlocked.

Results:
__________________________________________________________
Time Elasped Observation
10 minutes VK and Kah Ann struggling to get out
20 minutes VK and Kah Ann started to talk to each other
30 minutes VK and Kah Ann started holding hand
40 minutes VK and Kah Ann gets closer to each other
50 minutes VK and Kah Ann is resting upon each other
60 minutes VK comes out and pinches everyone, Kah Ann blogs aout this

Discussion:
1. VK and Kah Ann wanted to go out after 10 minutes.
2. VK and Kah Ann planned on how to get out after 20 minutes.
3. VK and Kah Ann acts out a couplish scene to lure everyone for opening the door for 20
minutes.
4. VK and Kah Ann unleashed their anger.

Conclusion:
The amount of time has nothing to do with VK and Kah Ann being a couple. Hypothesis rejected.

Safety Precautions:
1. Chest Plates to endure VK's pinches.
2. Condom just incase they get a bit too intimate.
3. Have people looking around for teachers.
4. Conduct this experiment in an empty classroom.

Warning:
1. Kah Ann is highly explosive when exposed to VK. Prepare to run away.

Chapter 7: The Question ...

2005-07-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

To ask?? Or not to ask?? Now that is the question which has been bugging Kah Ann for a really really long time.

There is only really one possible outcome, which is they would both be an official couple. But what is the barrier that has been preventing their relationship to blossom??

Kah Ann's side of the story!!
I would have went and ask, if it weren't for his big scary friends around him.. Moreover I told everyone that I am OLD-fashioned and would only want the guy to ask. I'm feeling rather afraid, afraid my darling VK will fall for someone else (namely, Shivani).. but she's Indian, I wonder if VK likes black people, urrgggghhh!!! I think I'm hotter??

*looks at self*

I think I'm smarter?? CRAP!! IM SHORTER!! But. but. but.. consoles the following people..
Pik Kaye:
AIYA!! You so chicken for what?? You go sit close close to him.. then he put his hand over your shoulder.. then you will go closer.. then, then, then..

Kai Sheng & Weng Sheng:
Go kiss him lar!! Your darling right??

Hsi Yi:
No comment! :D

KHU:
I go create website for you!! (P.S this is also how this website come in place)

However I still am afraid.. Blame myself for being a chicken, So what if I am old fashioned!! Hmphh!!

Vincent side of the story:
I would have went and ask, if it weren't for all her girlfriends surrounding her.. What if she fall for someone else, like... KAI SHENG!! Aiya!! I more lengchai than him.. no need to scared lah!! Or am I not..
*looks at self*

I'm older than her, taller than her, F*** I'm DUMBER!! But... but... but.. consoles the following people..
Nick Quah:
I only love my Chocolate... Owh CHOCOLATE!! *suicides*

Panda:
Go ask lah!! But BEFORE THAT!! DOTA DOTA!! :D Kin Wai pawned me gao gao oso u go help him gangbang me!!

Shen Jin:
*stares at Tara*

JY:
I never study lar!! I never study lar!!

No advice whatsoever from people whom I call friends.. sigh!! How to ask?? What if she reject?? What if her friends go laugh at me?? What should I do??

Love Song 4: Selamat Suka VK!!

2005-07-04T22:31:00.000+08:00

As usual, I will provide the original music of the song. Right click and save this !! :D

Selamat Suka VK!!
Kah Ann:
Oh Vincent,
Oh Vincent Kwong,
Sudikah kamu mengahwini aku,
Aku amat, cintakan kamu,
Marilah kita bersama hari ni.

VK:
Di masa,
Chinese New Year,
Kite bertutur hingga tiga jam,
Aku juga, cintakan anda,
Aku sudi berkahwin dengan anda.

Pik Kaye, Shengs, Khu, LY, Shen etc:
Miskin kaya, tak pakai baju baru warna-warni,
Membikin sanak kaum famili,
Sugguh hebat, permandangan di Tahun Baru ini,
Anak berwajah berseri-seri

Kah Ann:
Marilah, bergembira
Bersama menikmati susuk badan saya
Minta mak, rambut dipotong
Memenuhkan otak Vincent Kwong yang kosong.

Kah Ann:
Oh Vincent,
Oh Vincent Kwong,
Sudikah kamu mengahwini aku,
Aku amat, cintakan kamu,
Marilah kita bersama hari ni.

VK:
Di masa,
Chinese New Year,
Kite bertutur hingga tiga jam,
Aku juga, cintakan anda,
Aku sudi berkahwin dengan anda.

Pik Kaye, Shengs, Khu, LY, Shen etc:
Maafkanlah, jika ada terlanjur perkataan.
Diharap agar jangan disimpan,
Ini semua demi masa depan kamu dan VK,
Semoga tuhan akan memberkati

Kami nak, ucap tahniah,
Kerana kamu dah bersuka ria,
Selamat, kami ucapkan,
Untuk kamu mudah sampai tahun depan.

FONG KAH ANN CINTA VK!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 6: Is That Your Final Answer??

2005-07-04T20:33:00.000+08:00

In the canteen, Kah Ann and VK finally sat across each other. VK for the first time, saw Kah Ann with her mini-hair..

Spotlight on them.. Who want's to be a millionaire theme plays.. Kah Ann starts to question VK

Question 1:
What is new with me today??
a) My muscles
b) My hair
c) My height
d) None of the above

VK didn't hestitate and answer A... tears started rolling down Kah Ann's cheeks into her mouth. "your right" she hesistantly said.

Question 2:
What is wrong with my hair??
a) Its dyed
b) Its curly
c) Its a little tiny winy microscopicly unnoticably shorter than an average short hair
d) Got dandruff

Vincent felt his heart became heavier, but since it is his beloved who asked him the question, he had no choice but to answer.. it's C.. Kah Ann looked down... "Next Question.."

Question 3:
What made it a little tiny winy microscopicly unnoticably shorter than an average short hair??
a) Weng Sheng burned it
b) I accidentally cut it while fantasizing
c) My mother force me to cut
d) My horny cousins was playing samurai where the practice cutting my hair

Vincent was stumped.. "crap, I denu" he thought to himself. "Got life line ah?" he asked. "Got 3, 1 is ask Li-yian, 2 is ask Pik Kaye, 3 is take away 2 answer". VK decides to ask Pik Kaye... unfortunately Pik Kaye was staring at someone (denu hu) thinking he is Mike Shinoda and did not reply in time. VK then uses the second life line, and Li-yian said "I think Weng Sheng burned it??".. However VK wasn't confident enough with Li-Yian answer.. thus he used his final life line..

*PAM PAM PAM*

a) -
b) I accidentally cut it while fantasizing
c) My mother force me to cut
d) -

"Whoops" say Li-Yian. She did the washing window wave and ran away. VK is still stumped and is now forced to make a deceision.. "C LAh!!" said VK. Kah Ann only nodded in reply.

Question 4: How should I suicide?
a) Listen to Nigel singing until I die
b) Do Pik Kaye's piggy dance until I die
c) Study until I die
d) Drink some acetic acid

"Acetic Acid is Vinegar lah !! Drink some where can die one??" said KHU (first time I appear in the story).. Vincent replied "I dun want you to die, your hair very pretty".. those words itself puts Kah Ann into ecstasy as though she was in La-La-Land Singing La-La... she was touched, and grew evermore closer to Vincent..

Love Song 3: Legs

2005-07-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

Imagine Kah Ann singing this. Right Click and Save target this.

He's got legs,
He knows how to use them.
He never begs,
He knows how to choose them.

He's got a dime,
All of the time (all of the time).
Stays out at night movin',
Through time.
Oh, I want him,
So I got to have him,
That guy’s alright.
He's alright.
He’s alright (right, right, right)

Chapter 5: Short Hair Shorter !!

2005-07-02T23:07:00.000+08:00

On one unknown day...

Things were going perfectly normal. Kai Sheng was acting pms, Weng and Nick acting gay, Hsi Yi feeling smart, until......

*footsteps*

A boy walks in the class. He received stares from people around, the normally highly noise polluted class achieved absolute silence. The wind blew past, and Weng, being the daredevil announced his curiosity. "Who's the new boy in class??" he said.

*PUNCH!! PUCNH!! SLAP SLAP!!! KICK!!! BLAST WITH MISSILES!! STUNNED!!*

Weng is pwned into a piece of pulp, collapsing onto the unforgiving graffiti-fill table. "Woah, thats a strong dude!!" proclaimed Hsi Yi. The unknown man turns his face and stares at Hsi Yi.... Suddenly Hsi Yi started to shiver. Effervescence started to form at the edge of his mouth, he went down on his kness, and started holding his throat. He turned pale and then suffers the same fate as Weng. Kai Sheng tried to calm things down, "Chill Man," said he. The unknown guy only gave him a punch on the stomach, but the results were terrifying. Kai Shengs flew over the tables and connects to the wall. His shirt had ripped of due to the strong force of the punch. He started vomitting blood, and before his last breathe was wasted, he whispered "Tha.tha..tha.thats....Ka..ka..ka..Kah..A..aa.." *thud* Kai Sheng has fainted.

Out of nowhere, Li-Yian appears at the door, walks towards the unknown figure and screamed "Hi Kah Ann!!" O.o The supposedly 3 unconscious ones rises from their death and synchronisely said... OMG !! It's KAH ANN!! WTH is with your HAIR!! AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!! Screamed Kah Ann and sends all three of them fliying once again, this time busting through the whiteboard.

T_T Kah Ann was feeling bad. She thought to herself.. OWH WHAT WILL VK THINK!!!!!!

Love Song 2: Sit By Me (Kah Ann edit)

2005-07-01T16:37:00.000+08:00

Based on the song "Stand by me".. Click here for the Lion King version of stand by me!!

Sit By Me
When VK has come
And my brain, is blank
And the sun is the only light we'll see
Oh I won't be horny,
No I won't be horny
Just as long as you sit,
Sit by me

So Darling VK,
Sit by me,
Oh oh oh Sit by me
Ooh sit, sit by me,
Sit by me

If the school that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the canteen they should crumble to the drain
I won't cry

VK:You won't cry?
Kah Ann:Noo I won't shed a tear
VK: Not shed tear

Just as long as you sit,
sit by me
So Darling VK,
sit by me,
oh oh won't you sit by me
Ooh sit, sit by me, sit by me

Kai Sheng:Eeh, I don't think I like this sooong!

So Darling VK,
sit by mee,
oh oh won't you sit by me
Ooh stand, come on!
stand by me, stand by me

VK: Kah Ann?
Kah Ann: Yes?
VK: Can I sing the next song?
Kah Ann: Sure, as long as you sit by me!

VK:
Whenever you're in trouble won't you sit by me,
Oh oh ooh sit by me
I know you need me,
sit by me,
oh oh oh oh sit by me oooh heey

Chapter 4: The Weird Phone Call

2005-07-01T15:59:00.000+08:00

The whole year has passed. It is now 2005... Kah Ann and Vincent finally are able to converse amongs themselve without much trouble. Kah Ann would flirt by rubbing her shoulder against Vincent's chest while Vincent would place his arms around her. They exchanged contact numbers and Kah Ann was extremely pleased.

It was not long till Chinese New Year holiday commence. The FIRST day of Chinese New Year was here. Vincent went to his friends places whereas Kah Ann had to suffer being molested by her not so friendly yet horny cousins who often pinches her thighs. Deciding to try to lighten herself up, Kah Ann proceeds to the toilet along with her handphone.

She scrolls down the name list: ... unimportant 1, unimportant 2, unimportant 3, unimportant 4, SEXY HOTNESS, unimportant 5.... She clicks at SEXY HOTNESS ( It's VK by the way for any blur cases here).. She started mumbling to herself, "What should I say?? What to talk?? I Wanna talk to my machoman!!"....

HALLELUJAH

She instantly rushed out of the toilet towards her computer.
Start> Program Files> Accesories> Notepad. She proceeds typing out her speech.

Conversation with VK 1.txt:
YO, Happy Chinese New Year !! May I talk to VK??
Talk about weather,
Talk about whats up,
Talk about Online Games.

"Nah, make me sound so wild, maybe If I alter" she thought to herself..

Conversation with VK 2.txt:
Hello, may I speak to Vincent please? I am his friend.
Talk about how much I love him,
Talk about how much I miss him,
Ask him whether he missed me.

"OMG, this will make him think im totally obsessed with him!!" she then continues remodifying her speech.

Conversation with VK 3.txt
Hello, Happy Chinese New Year. May I speak to Vincent please?
Talk about how is CNY,
Talk about missing school,
Let him talk.

"Okay!! I'll use this speech" she said. Gulp!!, she clicked on the call button

Duuu... Duu Duu... Duu Duu...
Unknown Aunty: MEEEE SIIIIIIIIIIIIII ???(What is it??)
Kah Ann: Errr, errr, errr, err...
Unknown Aunty: PING WAI ???(Who is it??)
Kah Ann: HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

*click*

Kah Ann hungs up the phone not realising what had happen. Her plan to call and talk to Vincent has totally failed. Addtional to that, her perverted cousins came to her and started poking her hips. It was the saddest Chinese New Year of Kah Ann's life.

(P.S. Vincent was actually in his friend house when Kah Ann called :P )

Chapter 3: The Curious Guy

2005-06-30T21:07:00.000+08:00

In the Ragnarok World...

Vincent walks around Prontera with no purpose nor intensions. He saw Hsien Long with a Sohee... then Chin Keong with a munak. He wonders to himself "Sigh, why I no girlfriend one??".

Back in the real world..

Vincent walks aimlessly along the school corridor, together with Chin Keong, Panda and Ken. Suddently out of the blues, THE DARKNESS STRIKES. "Touching Yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu, Touching Meeeeeeeeeeeeee !!! " cries Shen Jing and aims his clamping claws under the armpits of Vincent and crunches his nipples. Vincent screams in pain and somehow manage to shook of the bearhug from Shen Jin.

Just as he was rubbing some life into his nipples, he caught a glimpse of a short, short-haired girl.. O.o "I wonder who she is??" He wonders... he attempts to make contact with her by accidentally brushing her shoulder while walking.

Unfortunately things did not turn out how he planned. As he was walking, Panda who apparently broke loose of Shen Jins Almighty Grapple, barged to him, causing him to lose his balance. Vincent tries to stop himself from falling but to no avail. Whats worse he falls directly on the short, short-hair girl. His face was buried into her .....*cencored* When he came to his senses, he asked the girl whether or not she is okay. The girl however screamed and fled from the scene. Vincent asked Shen Jin "Who's that girl ah?? Do you know her??"... and he learnt from the obviously very social Shen Jin that her name was Fong Kah Ann...

He continues walking alongside his buddies and thought to himself... "Kah Ann huh??" Deep in his thought.. he walked, and walked. OI VINCENT!!!! warned the rest of his friends but to no avail as when Vincent realised of the warning, it was too late as he had crash and tripped on the big rubbish bin... and now covered with it.

Love Song 1: The "I Love VK" Song

2005-06-30T17:58:00.000+08:00

This lyrics was modified from the I Love Egg song at http://www.iloveegg.com.

I Love VK Song

VK, Get VK Here,
Sexy VK is here,
Wiggle Jiggle, VK giggle,
Thats the best of what you are,

I Love VK !!

Love and tender, surround the center,
Cozy, sitting at the canteen bench,

I Love You !!

Maple Story and DOTA in you,
Good old source of RO too,

Oodle Doodle

Popular and perfect and,
So complete in everyway.

I Love you VK!!

Come and kiss me honey,
Oh so very yummy.
KISS, KISS, KISS,
Leave a mark on top your shoulder and,
Come to me,

Get VK !!

I Love You, VK
I Love You, VK
Really really love you so.
VK, VK!!
Cos' I really love you,
Like the sky above.

VK's the BEST !!

I Love You, VK
I Love You, VK
Really really love you so.
VK, VK!!
365 Days,
I really LOVE you so,
I really LOVE you so.
Mmm YUMMY.

Chapter 2: Allow me to tell you my name....

2005-06-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

Not many noticed who was Kah Ann's ray of hope, who saved her from the sad misery of having 47 chromosomes AKA looking like a chicken. Kah Ann continues to tail the footsteps of her smash (P.S smash = even more serious than crush).

She followed him through the tough environments of the steps, the countless broken tiles on the floors, passing through an uncountable amount of destroyed lockers, knocking shoulders with teachers and students alike.... day after day, month after month.... every single break and lunch she had, she will use to gawk, gawk and gawk. She was about to get over her Knight, when one day she overheard a panda look-alike guy said...

"Oi, Vincent Kwong!! Blablablabla------------ "

It was ORCHESTRA to her ears !! She couldn't believe it. After a few months of unconsciously gawking, she finally obtain the information worth the world to anyone else. His name, was Vincent Kwong!! *Thud* Kah Ann faints of nose bleed due to over-fantasizing.

She decides that the day was indeed one of the most important day of her life. Joy was overwhelming her and she decides to share her happiness and fantasies....... a little of her fantasies with everyone she knew.

SUGAR, SPICE, and STREAMYX BROADBAND... These are the perfect ingredients to make a perfect little site. But Fantisizer Kah Ann accidentally add an extra ingredient called.... Physical Sex [Only thing better than chemical X] .... THUS the HOTNESS BLOG WAS FORMED... Using her TUKUL BONGGOL BULAT, Fong Kah Ann has dedicated her life, to fighting the Shengs and the Forces Loving VK!! [Click Here to go to the HOTNESS blog]. *Powerpuff Girls Theme plays* * Shivani dies in background*.

Chapter 1: Knight in Shining Armor !!

2005-06-29T18:48:00.000+08:00

It was during the end of the year of 2003... Little Baby Kah Ann (Only 12 then..) was already feeling terribly hot-headed. Additional to that, the Sheng brothers (Kai and Weng) was constantly and aggressively obsessed with bullying Kah Ann. Thus, this caused an unremovable mark within this Little Baby girl.. the easily-obtainable-PMS-status...

Having an extremely Hyper PMS, Little Baby Kah Ann was feeling rather down.. So down that even Li-Yian couldnt cheer her up one bit. Her mind was stirring, she was not thinking straight. She decided to end her life.

Marching straight to the canteen, breaking through all the "Don't-Do-It-Kah-Ann" chants.. She walked towards the eating utensils section. She tried eating all the green chillies to end her life, but to no avail. Scanning through the table, her eyes caught a glimpse of the handle of the very-blunt-canteen-knife... SHE AMMEDIATELY TOOK IT AND ATTEMPTED TO CUT HER WRIST.

The Knife, unfortunately, broke into pieces.

Not understanding why God wouldnt let her end her life, she falls into a deep state of depression, the DARK SIDE of the heart. She could not see nothing in darkness, could not hear no sound in the darkness, could not embrace no object in the darkness. Just when she was about to give up hope....

A FLASHING LIGHT SHINES FROM ABOVE !!

And then she saw, what turns out to be her knight in shining armor... Although short, but was still a few inches taller than her... The was fully engrossed with every feature of the man... The focused eyes, the muscular body, the package between his legs.. Everything was simply PerfectO. Using the light to guide her through the darkness of her heart, she became her normal ULTRA-HORNY self... hence the daily routine of gawking had begun...